


Definitions

by angelskuuipo



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dark, Early Work, F/M, GFY, I also had no idea how screwed up this fic was until I started trying to tag it, Kidnapping, Non-con/dub-con, Spoilers up to Passion, Stockholm Syndrome, alternating povs, back dated work, i have no idea how to tag this, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 22:14:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1758311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelskuuipo/pseuds/angelskuuipo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometime after <i>Passion</i> , Angelus kidnaps Willow.  Life gets very painful and then very weird for her after that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Obsession

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this 10 years ago. It is rather dark, or as one friend dubbed it "Happy Dark". I don't really know how to explain it.
> 
> Originally posted 9-17-04.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angelus thinks as he plays with his new toy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angelus' POV

~*~*~*~*~*

Obsession. Webster’s Dictionary defines obsession as _a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling_ , or more broadly as _a compelling motivation_. Some would say that I’m obsessive. But I think I’m more goal oriented. I see something I want and I go after it. I don’t let anything get in my way. I research, make a plan, then execute it. For 245 years it’s worked for me.

Take the Slayer for example. Even with the *shudders* soul I wanted her and I got her. Sure, the soul wanted to love her, protect her, and take care of her. Me? I wanted to destroy her. I sat back and watched and waited. I learned all about her and her little friends. I memorized their strengths and weaknesses, filed it all away for use at a later date. Somehow I knew I would make an appearance in her lifetime and lo and behold I did. I almost felt sorry for the soul. The first girl he’d allowed himself to ever love, as a human or souled vampire, and she was the death of him. Literally.

Oh, I know the gypsy was working on a spell to restore my soul. She finished it, too, just before I killed her. I even found the disk she’d saved it on. That too went the way of the dodo. So I’m back to stay and, damn, it feels good to be free again.

My dear boy Spike thinks I’ve lost my mind because I haven’t killed the Slayer. Personally I think he’s just pissed that I haven’t healed him yet. I’ve been meaning to, I’ve just been busy. I’m so close to breaking her. I think my latest surprise should do it. Buffy will shatter and I’ll use her blood to heal my boy.

A whimper from the bed catches my attention and I look over. Willow is lying there on her stomach, shackled to the head and footboards. Who knew she had such a great body hiding under all of those nauseatingly fuzzy clothes. Brilliant red hair, pale unmarred skin…well it was unmarred. Now it’s a work of abstract art, all black and blue and red. I’m actually rather disappointed with Buffy. The Slayer left her best friend and the heart of her little gang alone, at night, completely unprotected. It was almost too easy.

Remembering taking the redhead brings a smile to my face. She fought valiantly, I will give her that. Had a little squirt gun of holy water tucked out of sight. Burned like a son of a bitch, but I didn’t let that stop me. The stake through the shoulder caught me by surprise, too. I really didn’t think she had it in her. That fire is one of the reasons she’s still alive. Fighting me, struggling against her death, made me rethink my plans for her. I think I’m going to turn her, but not for a while yet. She still needs to grow up a little. She’s frighteningly intelligent and that intelligence combined with a demon of my line? We will rule the world. Yeah, my plans have changed. I think she’s almost ready. I don’t want her insane like Dru. That was fun, but having to live with the nutter…well, what’s done is done, and I definitely don’t need two crazies on my hands. No, I want Willow to be mine completely before I ever turn her. Having Willow wholly devoted and subservient to me will be the final piece to destroying Buffy.

Taking the riding crop from the bedside table, I gently run it along the curve of her ass. “Who do you belong to Willow?”

“Myself,” is her faint reply.

I smile at her defiance. Maybe she’s not as ready as I thought. Ah well I’ve got time.

As I bring the crop down on her backside I think maybe I am a little obsessive. Whatever, it works for me.


	2. Obsession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willow’s thoughts

~*~*~*~*~*

The summer before Buffy came to town I memorized the dictionary. Yeah, I know I’m pathetic, but Xander and Jesse were out of town with their parents, and mine had gone to Tacoma for a psychology conference and left me at home alone. Webster’s was the only book in the house I hadn’t read yet, hence the memorizing.

As I lay here trying to disassociate my mind from what Angelus is doing to my body an entry comes to mind:

Captive. Webster’s defines captive as _1a: taken and held as or as if a prisoner of war, b: kept within bounds_ , or _2: held under control of another but having the appearance of independence_ , and _3: being such involuntarily because of a situation that makes free choice or departure difficult._

I love that last one, a situation that makes free choice or departure difficult. All three definitions apply to my current situation, but number three is almost enough to make me chuckle. However, if I start to laugh there’s a pretty good chance that I won’t stop and that just wouldn’t do. I’ve done my damnedest to keep my screams and tears to a minimum and breaking down into hysterical laughter would undo all my hard work.

And damn Buffy anyway. Where the hell is she? I was kind of expecting to be rescued by now. Angelus took me three weeks ago. A week after Ms. Calendar was murdered, by the demon wearing my friend's face no less, and now this. That was a fun night. Jenny dying hit all of us hard, but I think it hit Giles and me the hardest. He loved her and she was my friend and mentor. Buffy was still pissed at her and Xander…well Xander was busy with Cordelia. And I think I’ll shy away from that topic of pain. I’ve got enough to deal with right now.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the night Angelus took me. Buffy was whining and I was getting irritated. I know she’s my best friend and I love her dearly, but I have my limits of how much angst I can take, and I had pretty much reached them that night. We had gone to the Bronze and I was bored. I knew she didn’t want to leave so I convinced her I would be fine by myself. I was fully armed and had no plans for dawdling.

I hadn’t even made it two blocks from the club when he appeared. Now I always thought Angel was attractive in an older, serious, needs-to-lighten-up-on-the-James-Dean-homage kind of way. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with white t-shirts, jeans, and a leather jacket, I’m rather fond of the look actually, but white and vampire really don’t mix. Anyway, Angel was good looking. But Angelus, as Cordelia would say, really is a hunk of salty goodness. Those velvet shirts and leather pants? Pair ‘em up with that smirk that I really, really want to smack off his handsome face and, dear God, he shouldn’t be allowed out in public. Okay he shouldn’t be allowed out in public anyway, because, ya know, evil soulless killer and all that.

I lost track again...oh right, he showed up on my way home. After freezing in abject terror, and not a small amount of feminine appreciation at the sight of him, I realized he was going to kill me and leave my broken corpse for Buffy to find. Well, I may not have the greatest life going, but it is mine, and I wasn’t quite ready to give it up yet. So I fought him. He wasn’t expecting that. I shot him with my holy water squirt gun. It slowed him down a little, but I think it just pissed him off more than anything. He smiled at me and even after all of the strange and disturbing things I’ve seen since meeting Buffy, I never really understood the phrase, ‘blood ran cold’ until that very moment. Seeing his smile made my blood run cold. He came at me and I panicked. I had my stake out and I hit him with it, but my aim was high. I stabbed him in the shoulder. The last thing I saw was his game face drawing close to me. Just before I passed out, he whispered, “We’re going to have so much fun, little one.”

Liar.

I’ve been beaten and whipped 'til I’m not sure if there is any skin still left on my back. He keeps asking me who I belong to and my answer is always the same.

I’m not sure exactly why I’m still alive, but I’m not going to give up without a fight. I shift my body slightly, trying to find a more comfortable position. Bad idea. I can’t contain the whimper the slight movements pull from me. I can hear him moving towards me again. Damnit. He’d been sitting across the room taking a break from his last round of ‘Let’s Make Willow Scream’.

I feel him running the riding crop over the swell of my butt and he asks me softly, “Who do you belong to, Willow?” 

My voice is faint from pain and disuse but I give him my standard reply. “Myself.”

I want nothing more than to cry out as he brings the crop down on my already abused skin, but I don’t. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

Captive. Yep, that’s me.


	3. Stubborn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angelus’ turn

~*~*~*~*~*

Obstinate, dogged, pertinacious, mulish...take your pick. They all describe my little redheaded wench. Let’s start with obstinate shall we? _Perversely adhering to an opinion, purpose or course in spite of reason, arguments or persuasion._

She has to know that the most reasonable course of action would be to give in to me. I’ve been extremely persuasive and the damn chit still won’t give me the answer I want. The other words vary slightly in meaning, but they all pretty much mean the same thing. Willow is stubborn.

I thought I was close to making her mine, but she’s stronger than she looks. She’s sleeping now, passed out from the latest beating is more like it, and as I watch her I wonder if I’ve taken the right approach in bringing her to my side. Willow needed to be punished for trying to kill me, but perhaps I took it too far? I’ve yet to show her any of the pleasure that could be hers if she yields to me.

Damn, I hate making mistakes. I’m going to have to backtrack and try to make the last couple of weeks up to her. That means more delays in healing Spike. Maybe I should let him feed from me a little to help him along...I’ll think about that later. Right now I need to figure out how to undo the damage I’ve wrought by not thinking things through. One of the first lessons I ever learned as a vampire was how to combine pleasure and pain. I’m a goddamn expert in the art and I’ve completely ignored the other side of this coin.

This bites. I can’t believe I've so thoroughly screwed this up. No, I haven’t screwed up. I’ve just had a minor setback. Willow will yield; it will just take a little longer than I anticipated.

I’ll have to stop beating her for now. Willow needs to heal. Pampering and tenderness are the order of the day for a while. I close my eyes and try to recall the scents she likes. Ah yes, strawberries and cream, with a little bit of honeysuckle. Has she revoked my invitation to her home? I’ll have to check and see.

Checking the mantle clock I see I have about two hours till sunrise. Well, no time like the present. I promise myself that I’ll start making amends as soon as I get back then head out to gather the things I’ll need.

Stubborn she may be, but no one can resist me forever and Willow is about to learn that firsthand.


	4. Confused

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willow’s turn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Big waves* to everyone who’s sent me feedback on the other pieces in this fic. Thanks so very much, especially Gabrielle whose Dollhouse series played a part in the format for this. You’re the best.

~*~*~*~*~*

Ookaay...color me confused. I am very much in a state of being _perplexed or disconcerted._ I woke up from the latest round of Angelus’ game and found myself unbound, bathed, and clothed; all new occurrences if my memory serves. The clothes aren’t what I would normally wear, but they’re not bad, and hey, not naked anymore which I’m liking a lot. The long sleeved dark blue shirt is tighter than I’m comfortable with and cut a lot lower than anything I’ve worn before, well except for Halloween, but the skirt is nice, all loose and flowy. I can deal.

There’s food, too. Belgian waffles with strawberries and whipped cream, yum, crispy bacon, and okay yeah, Jewish, but I love crispy bacon, another yum, and hot chocolate; not the kind made with water, but with milk so it’s nice and thick and creamy with just a hint of cinnamon, and if it weren’t for the fact that I’m still being held against my will, I’d think I was in heaven.

Angelus is sitting across from me watching me eat. It’s kind of giving me a wiggins, but after the last three weeks nothing really fazes me anymore. And that’s another thing. I don’t hurt nearly as much I should. Not that I’m complaining, because no pain is definitely a good. I’m just wondering why. Do I have the guts to ask him? Not at the moment, maybe after I’ve eaten a bit more.

A twinge in my lower abdomen makes me pause. Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. This can’t be happening, not now. Damnit Buffy, you were supposed to have me out of here before now. Could my life suck anymore? Heh, heh unintentional pun there. I’m stuck in a mansion full of vampires and I’m about to start my period; of course it could suck more, and if the look on Angelus’ face is any indication he’s going to be the one doing the sucking. Nygah…I hate my life. Well, my appetite’s gone.

“How do you feel, little one?” he asks me.

How to answer? Scared, confused, angry, sated, sore but not hurt, confused, I said that one already didn’t I?

“Better.” Ooh he looks a bit irritated at my one word answers. Maybe I should say more? Okay, I have some questions of my own so...”Why are you doing this to me, Angelus?”

He looks at me for a moment then smiles softly. If I didn’t know for a fact that he didn’t have his soul I’d think it was Angel sitting across from me. “You were getting weak, Willow. You needed to eat.”

Grrr...damn, evasive, answering-the-question-without-actually-answering-the-question vampire. He knows what I’m asking and he’s being coy. And there’s the smirk, still sexy, and I still want to smack it off his face. Oh to be the one in control here and have him chained and at my mercy. Now there’s a fantasy to keep me occupied the next time he wants to use me as a punching bag.

“I have to go to the bathroom.” He just nods and gestures with his hand towards the closed door on the other side of his bedroom, so privacy bound am I.

Holy God! How long was I out for? There’s a mirror over the sink and a full length one on the door behind me, along with a whole mess of bath items, and I know none of this was here before. Is this really what I look like? I’ve lost some weight that I couldn’t really afford to lose, but other than that, I look good. How can that be? What’s the rest of me look like? Duh, Wills. Take off your clothes and take a look. Oh...that can’t be right. There’s no way my backside has healed this much. I can’t have been unconscious that long, unless...I watch, as my eyes grow round with horror. He fed me. He fed me his blood. Vampire blood has restorative properties, and unless he decided to work some healing mojo, then that’s the only explanation.

As I take a closer look at the accoutrements in the bathroom in an effort to forget the fact that I drank blood, again nygah, I realize that it’s all my favorite things. The shampoo and conditioner, body wash, lotions, powder, even the toothpaste and type of toothbrush I like to use. Oh toothbrush and toothpaste. Yay! After that’s done I figure what the hell, I may as well see if there’s anything else in here. I open the cabinet door and just...stop and stare.

Tampons. The kind that I use and will have need of within the next twelve hours.

What game are you playing with me, Angelus? Why the sudden turnaround?

He asked me earlier how I was feeling. I have an answer for him now.

Confused. Definitely confused.


	5. Amends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angelus’ thoughts

~*~*~*~*~*

Amends: _To put right, to change or modify for the better._ I never thought I would be trying to make amends to a human, but here I am, on a late night trip to the mall. A little fiddling with the security cameras and locks and I’m in. First things first, the lovely little girl will want to see herself so I pick up a couple of mirrors. Next are the scents. Willow did indeed revoke my invitation so I’m racking my brain trying to pick out any of the soul’s memories of the inane conversations he overheard between the Slayer and the redhead. There we go. As I make my way to the store I have to wonder what she will think when she wakes up.

I think I’ve got all the beauty products she could want. I’ve thrown in a couple of things I like as well. I may be a badass vampire, but personal hygiene is still important. Clothes and shoes are next. It’s almost enough to make me rub my hands in glee. Now that I know what her body looks like I can’t wait to show it off to advantage. Nothing too extreme to start with, though, these forest green leather pants are a must; as is this gold satin halter. It’s like I have a living doll to play with and if I were anybody else, I might be disturbed by that imagery.

Hmmm...half an hour till sunrise. I need to get back, but I have one last stop to make. I could smell it coming. This next week will test my fortitude like no other. But it’s my own fault. If I had done things properly I could enjoy what’s to come. Ah well, abstinence builds character. The cashier makes some lame-ass joke about my purchase. I’m tired and he irritated me so I decide to have a late night/early morning snack. Realizing I have no human food for her, I quickly grab some items I think she’ll like and rush for the car I appropriated earlier.

And home in the nick of time. First, have the food put away and make sure the others know not to touch it. A little known fact about me is that I love to cook and I’m damn good at it. Nothing draws prey in better than a good meal.

Then I put the mirrors up personally. I haven’t allowed anyone in my rooms since I brought Willow home. Dru has been in a snit, but Spike’s been happy to cheer her up. To tell you the truth it suits me just fine. I think, once I get her how I want her, Willow will be all I’ll need...well, her and Spike. Women are wonderful creatures, but nothing can really compare to my boy.

Mirrors are up and I’ve chosen her first new outfit, so now it’s bath time. I wash her hair and carefully cleanse all of her wounds. Huh, I really have done a number on her. Think I should fix that. I carefully bite into my mark on her neck and take a few tiny sips. She doesn’t even stir. Then I slice my wrist open and press it to her mouth. Unconsciously she tries to move away, but I hold firm and soon she’s suckling like a babe. I have to think of a distraction or I’m going to take her here and now and what fun would that be? I want her awake and begging me when I finally make her mine in every way.

Her wounds are healing nicely so I withdraw my wrist and lick the cut closed. Her delectable mouth is stained crimson with my blood and I can’t resist kissing her. Still, ahem, dead to the world, she doesn’t respond, but the warmth of her mouth holds such promise.

Time to get her dressed. I slide on the blue lace bra and panties I chose, chuckling at the irony of me putting on her clothes instead of taking them off. Next is the shirt and skirt. I went with a tighter top, but a long flowing skirt. Let her gradually get used to showing off her body. Aren’t I the gentleman? Damn I’m good. Even asleep she looks older, more confident just by wearing better clothes. I think I’ll need to have her hair cut, but I’ll worry about that later.

Change the bedding before I lay her back down. I think the navy blue silk will do nicely, not that I’m likely to see her lace covered form against them anytime soon, but a vamp can dream right?

She’ll be waking soon. Guess I’d better get cooking.

****

Willow is quiet while she eats, but I can see the wheels turning in her head. She doesn’t know which way is up. I like watching her eat. I haven’t been very good about providing her sustenance in recent days so I know she must be famished, and she attacks my offerings with delicate greed.

I see her wince and drop her bacon back on her plate. She closes her eyes and presses a hand to her stomach. I inhale subtly and smile. The scent is stronger now. Soon.

Trying to be solicitous, I ask her, “How do you feel, little one?”

She’s silent for a few and I know she’s weighing her answers. Finally she says, “Better.”

That’s all. The girl can babble for five minutes without drawing breath and all I get is a one-word answer.

Apparently she can tell I didn’t like that, because then she asks, “Why are you doing this to me, Angelus?”

I consider my answer and smile slightly. Her breath catches and it warms my dead heart to know that I affect her like that. I answer her. “You were getting weak Willow. You needed to eat.”

I watch as her jaw clenches and her luminous green eyes flash in annoyance. My response was true as far as it went, but I know she was asking about the bigger picture. I’m not ready to tell her yet.

She says she has to go the bathroom and I let her escape. I can hear her gasp as she discovers the new items. Then I hear the cabinet door open and I smile to myself. There will be more questions I’m sure.

I haven’t really romanced anyone since Dru and we all know how that turned out. I need to take a different approach with Willow. I want her strong and I want her to want me.

Her having her period this week is actually a good thing. As much as I want to take her and taste her, learn her, teach her, it’s too soon. This next week is all about making amends. I think I can handle that.


	6. Cautious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willow’s thoughts

~*~*~*~*~*

I have moved on from confused to cautious and wary. I’m being _prudently watchful and discreet in the face of danger or risk._ Can you blame me? This last week has seemed more like a freakin’ ‘Twilight Zone’ episode than anything else that’s happened to me on the Hellmouth.

Angelus is being nice. And I don’t mean in a you’re-lucky-I-haven’t-killed-you-yet way. I mean actually nice. He hasn’t laid a hand on me in anger or in the other way I was figuring he would when my monthly started. We sleep in the same bed every night, but he’s kept his hands to himself. The day I woke up unchained is when this new game started. He bought me food, clothes, shoes. Since then he’s brought me books, CD’s, and movies. I had no idea he had an entertainment center in here.

And we’ve talked. Angelus is a very intelligent, well-read vampire. I don’t know how much of that was Angel’s doing, but the result is the same. Angelus is smart. We’ve debated on lots of subjects. And he actually listens to me. I even got him to change his own opinion a couple of times and I’ve changed a couple of mine.

He’s told me funny stories about him and Dru and Spike, heavily edited I’m sure, but they’re still funny. And I unclenched and told him some stories about growing up with Jesse and Xander.

Angelus loves Spike. He hasn’t said anything to that effect, but I can tell just by the way he speaks of his bleached blond childe. His features soften and this unconscious little smile plays on his mouth. Who knew The Scourge of Europe could love? It’s not a hearts and flowers kind of love, but it’s still love.

I’m beginning to like the guy. I know, gave me a major wiggins when it dawned on me too. The bastard beats me for three weeks then does a complete 180 and starts, I don’t know...it’s almost as if he’s...courting me. I have to admit I like the attention. He’s always giving me compliments on how I look and that’s something I’m not used to hearing. I like the clothes he bought for me. He’s got good taste.

But it’s not just that. He compliments my mind too and if there’s one thing that’ll get you into my good graces, it’s acknowledging my intelligence. I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but I’m damn smart and I like to be recognized for that fact once in a while.

The Scoobies take me for granted. I know it, but I haven’t done anything about it, because it makes me feel needed. I’ve started to wonder if they miss me at all. Oh, I know Giles is missing my computer expertise and Buffy is probably missing her shoulder to cry on, and Xander is missing me doing his homework for him, but do they miss _me_? Me, Willow Rosenberg, not the hacker, or net girl, or research girl, or homework girl, but me the person.

I just wish I knew what Angelus wants from me. I’ve tried asking him what his plans are for me, but he just sidesteps or ignores my questions completely. It’s getting frustrating and fueling my wariness more. I feel like the Christmas goose that’s being fattened up for slaughter. I know it can’t last like this forever, but I’ve been alone and neglected for so long that I can’t help but soak up all of the attention he’s bestowing on me.

Am I broken?

I’m beginning to accept that I’m here for the long haul. It bothers me that I’ve gotten to this point already and am taking it so well. If Angelus keeps treating me like I matter to him and lays off on the torture, I could probably be happy here. As of now I’m not lacking for any physical comforts and I have his companionship. I’m not bored. I mean, yeah, I miss my computer and I kind of miss my friends, but as strange as this sounds, I feel safe here.

I’m losing my mind. That’s the only explanation. How can I feel safe being held captive by a vicious killer? Come on Rosenberg, one week of pampering and you're ready to give in to whatever he has planned for you? Get a grip, girl.

I have to remember that he’s always got a plan. I have to stay on my toes and not get complacent.

****

He kissed me.

I’ve had free reign of his rooms for two weeks now and this is the first time he’s touched me. And he kissed me. Oh it wasn’t a toe-curling, earth shattering, breathtaking kind of kiss. It was just a simple brush of his lips against mine before he left to hunt, but it was beautiful.

He cupped my cheek and looked at me with his dark chocolate brown eyes and said, “Soon” before turning and walking out the door.

Soon what? Screw cautious, I’m back to being confused.


	7. Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angelus’ thoughts

~*~*~*~*~*

Progress, _a forward or onward movement as to an objective or to a goal, gradual betterment._ I’m making progress with Willow. I am also in hell, a hell of my own making, but still, hell.

Two weeks. It’s been two weeks since I’ve touched Willow and I am going out of my mind. The first week was torture enough lying in bed with her every night and not reaching for her and tasting her, taking her, but I managed to restrain myself. That’s over now, but it just hasn’t seemed like the right time to take that next step.

We’ve talked. God have we talked. And you know what? I like talking to Willow. My boy is the only other one around here I can hold a decent conversation with. The three of us together will have some grand times. But I don’t just like talking to her; I’m beginning to like her.

She smiles when I come into the room now and doesn’t cringe in terror when I draw near. She’s much more relaxed around me than I ever saw her around her friends. She asks me questions that I’m not ready to answer yet so I ignore them, which frustrates her I know, but like I said, I’m not ready to answer them. I don’t exactly know the answers.

Could someone tell me again why I’m doing this? Oh right. I fucked up a month and a half ago and now I’m trying to fix it. I’m supposed to be using Willow to destroy the Slayer. I’m supposed to be destroying the Slayer because she made me feel human...like Willow does. I have no desire to destroy Willow. I just want to make her mine.

Buffy. She and the whole gang have been a major disappointment to me since I took Willow. Oh they were frantic enough for the first week or so trying to find the little hacker, but I’ve watched them every night and they’re moving on. They’ve got the wolf doing the computer work for them, which pleases the Watcher and it appears they’ve found a witch, Amy I think is her name, to help them as well. The moron seemed to be the only one interested in still searching for Willow until last week. Seems he and the cheerleader finally got pelvic and well, let’s just say he’s been preoccupied. And my little heartbroken Slayer has a new boy toy that’s taking up a lot of her free time. Here I thought she and the soul had that forever kind of love that makes me want to hurl and she would pine away for the rest of her days. Ah well, young hearts are fickle that way.

The shine has worn off on my previous plan. My focus has shifted. I almost feel bad for my little redhead. Almost. Her friends’ lack of concern works to my advantage. I just need to figure out the best way to use it. Maybe I’ll tape a couple of their research sessions, or some of their many trips to the Bronze, and show them to her. I need to talk to Spike.

My boy and I have reached an understanding. I let him feed from me to help him regain his strength and he’s stopped sniping at me about killing the Slayer. I haven’t told him that I plan to use her blood to fully heal him. That’s a surprise. He’s been asking me questions about who I’ve got locked up in my rooms. That’s a surprise, too. I’m not quite ready to have them meet.

Willow looks so pretty sitting by the fire reading. I’m going to have to make a move soon. I’m not used to denying myself anything and yet I can’t bring myself to take my ease with Dru. She just doesn’t appeal to me anymore. No amount of fantasizing could make her mouth and body warm or innocent. I’d love to be with my boy, but not until he’s healed.

I definitely need to talk to Spike and I need to hunt. Maybe a good violent kill will clear my head.

As I stand up, Willow looks at me curiously over the edge of her book. I can’t resist so I draw her up and kiss her fleetingly on her lips.

Cupping her cheek in my hand I look into her big green eyes and whisper, “Soon.” Then I make myself turn and walk out the door.

Soon. That word encompasses so much.

I am making progress. I’m just not sure towards what.


	8. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willow’s thoughts

~*~*~*~*~*

I asked myself a few weeks ago if I was broken. If I wasn’t then I am now. Angelus didn’t break me, my friends did. I have been _violated by transgression, subdued completely._ In other words, I’ve been betrayed; by the people I thought more of as my family than my own.

They don’t miss me. They don’t care about me. I’ve been replaced and apparently nary a thought has been spared for me for a few weeks now. Giles has Oz to do the computer thing for him. Amy is there too to help with research and witchy stuff. Buffy has a new boyfriend. So much for the ‘woe is me, my love is gone' shtick. And Xander and Cordelia...well, let’s just say that was the straw that broke Willow. He’d been my best friend since we were five years old and I really thought I meant more to him than getting into Cordelia’s pants did.

I guess I was wrong.

How do I know all of this? Angelus clued me in. Oh I know what you’re thinking. ‘How could you take his word for it, Wills? You know he’s just trying to manipulate you.’ Yeah, well, he may be and he’s succeeding, but he brought me proof. He told me he’d been watching them, seeing what kind of progress they’ve been making in trying to find me. He started videotaping the nightly research sessions and also caught them at the Bronze. He showed me the tapes. I know enough to figure out that the tapes haven’t been altered. They’re genuine.

I’ve been forgotten.

Angelus finally told me what he wants from me. Me. He wants me, wholly and completely. He wants me to eventually rule by his side as his childe and mate.

I’m considering it.

Yeah, I know, how could I possibly consider letting him turn me into a soulless evil killer? Do you have any idea how much I hurt right now? I’m thinking it would be a blessing to not care anymore.

The door opens so I stop the tape that I’ve been watching. It’s not like I haven’t watched the damn thing repeatedly. It’s the most recent play date at the Bronze. Doesn’t everyone just look so happy? Bastards.

Well this is new. Angelus is wheeling Spike into the room. He’s the first new face I’ve seen since I’ve been here.

“Hi,” I say. Wow, is that really my voice? It’s so...calm.

Angelus is watching me curiously. I wonder what he sees right now?

“How are you, little one?” he asks me. He sounds so sincerely concerned about me.

“Do you really have to ask?” Why hasn’t Spike said anything yet? He’s just watching me, but I sense no malice in him towards me so I’m content with the silence from him for now.

He wheels Spike over near the couch I’m on then sits down next to me. Angelus pulls me into his lap and I go willingly. I’ve learned in the last couple of weeks that I like his touch. We’ve done nothing more than kiss and he holds me when I sleep. It’s...comfortable.

But right now being in his lap is anything but comfortable. The ice around my heart is cracking and if I don’t do something soon I’ll shatter to pieces.

Without any warning I crush my lips to his and force my tongue into his mouth. I can tell he wasn’t expecting that, but he recovers quickly, and takes control of the kiss. When I finally pull away to breathe he’s watching me warily.

“Make me forget,” is all I say.

He looks at Spike apologetically and the blond nods once then wheels himself out of the room, shutting and locking the door behind him.

Angelus is studying me. I guess whatever he sees in my eyes answers his questions, because he smiles slowly at me and says, “I’ll make you strong.”

My resolve wavers at that. “Are you going to turn me now?”

He shakes his head. “No, it’s too soon for that. But I can make you strong in other ways. You can reap revenge on those who’ve hurt you.”

Revenge. That word rolls around in my brain like liquid silk. Make them hurt. I like the sound of that.

“I’m yours.” It’s what he’s wanted all along and now I’m ready to give it to him.

I may be broken right now, but Angelus is going to put me back together. And when he’s done? Watch out Sunnydale.


	9. Enlightened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike’s thoughts

~*~*~*~*~*

Angelus finally deemed fit to enlighten me as to what the bloody hell he’s been up to for the last three months. He has _freed me from ignorance and misinformation._ I knew whatever it was had something to do with the Slayer.

I was beginning to think my sire had completely cracked. He was going on and on about destroying the bottled blonde bint. Not killing her, but breaking her. Waste of time if you ask me. He told me he wouldn’t heal me until he’d broken her. Wanker.

Then things started to change. He came home one night and forbade anyone to be in his rooms. That pissed Dru off right and proper it did, but suited me just fine. Being stuck in this soddin’ wheelchair I can’t exactly enjoy shagging my sire, but with Dru I could keep her happy.

Three weeks after that decree he comes in just before sunrise with a new car, bags and bags of women’s clothes and shoes, human food and, of all things, mirrors. What the devil does he need mirrors for? He was whistling a jaunty tune and looked like the cat that ate the whole bird section at the local pet store. About that time though he also started feeding me, building my strength back up. About damn time I should say.

Dru’s been on about ‘Daddy’ and the ‘weeping tree’. I haven’t got a bleedin’ clue what she’s been yammering about, but a few weeks ago she calmed down and told me Miss Edith said we were getting a new mummy.

That was the night Angelus came to me and told me about the redhead, the Slayer’s pet. He’d been avoiding my questions about what he was up to and quite frankly, it was beginning to piss me off. I know he’s been gone for a hundred years, but we never used to keep secrets from one another. He told me how he caught her walking home from the Bronze. How he was going to kill her and leave her for the Slayer to find, but watching her fight for her life made him change his mind. She’s the reason he’s denied entry into his rooms. He told me how he bollixed up her training and that’s why he went on the shopping spree.

I almost laughed in his face when he told me that. He acted like a pansy human trying to make up for an argument with his girlfriend. I did laugh when he told me that he hasn’t touched her at all since the night he went shopping, even though she’d been on the rag. Bloody glutton for punishment my sire is, soul or no soul.

Then he went on about how his plans were changing. He wasn’t so concerned about breaking the Slayer anymore. He just wanted whats-her-name, Willow that’s it, he just wanted Willow to be his. Seems my pain in the ass sire has gone and fallen for a human chit just like his soul did. I love the poof, don’t get me wrong, not that I’d ever tell him that, but sometimes he can be such a ponce. I don’t rightly remember Willow, but anyone’s got to be better than the Slayer. He told me about how her friends had forgotten her, that they weren’t even looking for her anymore. That’s rather sad really. But he could definitely use it to his advantage. I agreed with him that taping their activities was a good idea. Would give him solid proof to convince the wench to let him get a leg up on her.

Like I said that was a few weeks ago. Tonight he brought me in to meet her. He wants us to be friends. She’s sitting on the couch watching one of the tapes we’d had made. Right beauty she is, like a sunrise with that red hair and pale skin. She’s wearing a tight golden yellow sweater and a pair of jeans that fit her like a glove. I can see why Angelus hasn’t wanted to share her.

She looks over at us as we come in and I have to say, I feel bad for her. She’s broken inside and it’s written all over her face.

Her voice is devoid of emotion when she says, “Hi.”

I keep my tongue, just watching her. She studies me for a few but doesn’t say anything. There’s a flicker of acceptance in her eyes and I wonder at that.

Angelus asks her, “How are you, little one?” Oh yeah, he’s whipped even if he doesn’t know it yet. He cares for her.

“Do you really have to ask?” That same calm tone, she’s on the verge of cracking completely she is.

Angelus wheels me over then sits down and pulls her into his lap. He’d told me that she was comfortable with him touching her, but I didn’t really believe it. I do now. She looks like she belongs there in his arms. Then she’s kissing him like she’s never going to let go. Getting me a bit wound up with that kiss.

When she pulls up for air she only has eyes for him and says, “Make me forget.”

Angelus looks at me and I know our meet and greet will have to wait. He’s finally got her where he wants her and I’m not invited to participate yet. That’s all right though. This means we’ll get to kill the Slayer soon.

So I nod and leave them alone. I think I’m going to like my new mum.

Enlightenment is a wonderful thing.


	10. Masterpiece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angelus’ Perspective

~*~*~*~*~*

I’ve done it. _A work done with extraordinary skill, a supreme intellectual or artistic achievement_. I’ve created a masterpiece. Willow.

She’s been with me for a year now. You all know about the first three months, well the last nine have been spent molding her into my perfect mate. She’s the perfect blend of darkness and light. Somehow, even after all I’ve taught her, she’s retained an aura of innocence that just gets my stolen blood pumping.

I don’t think I’m going to turn her after all. She doesn’t need a demon. There is a darkness within her that broke loose nine months ago that would have given Darla a run for her money, and she was one cunning bitch. I’ve heard of a bonding ritual that would tie her life to mine. She would live as long as I do, take on all of my strengths with none of my weaknesses. I like that idea better. I crave her heat and I would lose that if I were to take her as my childe.

She’s amazing, that’s all there is to it. I was worried there for a while that her friends’ abandonment had done too much damage, but it was the catalyst I needed to make her mine. The night I brought Spike in to meet her was the night she told me she was mine. I think my heart actually beat for a couple of seconds at her words.

Since then I have cultivated her anger and pain, honing it to a fine edge. She can fight almost as well as the Slayer now. She’s channeled her aggression into beating many a minion. They all fear and respect their Lady Red as they’ve dubbed her. She’s kind to everyone at the mansion for the most part, but don’t cross her or you’re likely to find yourself on the sharp end of her high-heeled boot. Dru has been teaching her magic and she is becoming quite proficient in the arts. There was a lot of natural ability just waiting to be tapped.

Dru absolutely adores my Willow. She and my childe spend many an afternoon having tea parties and playing with Dru’s dolls. My boy likes her, too. The two of them get into some entertaining shouting matches. There’s an attraction there that I’m letting grow. Eventually my Red will learn that sometimes the only way to shut Spike up is to make him shut up. I look forward to that day.

For the last two months she, Spike, and I have been following the Scoobies. Yes my boy is walking now, fighting and hunting, too. He’s still not completely one hundred percent, but he’s close. What we’re planning to do will finally put him back in top form. Willow wanted to see for herself just how much her old buddies have moved on. She’s come to the conclusion that Xander is the only one she doesn’t want dead. It would appear that I was wrong a few months ago when I said he’d forgotten about her. He goes to Willie’s every night trying to find out anything about her. He refused to give up hope of finding her. He’s distanced himself from the rest of the gang because they gave up on her. When she’s ready she’ll let him know how and who she is now.

She did that last night. She went to his house by herself. Yes, I let her out on her own. I trust her. She was gone until sunrise. Xander is going to be moving into the mansion after the others are gone. I’m not sure how I feel about that exactly, but Willow looks so happy at the prospect that I know I won’t deny her. I rarely deny her anything. Spike says I’m whipped. I say only if I’m lucky.

The witch and the wolf were the first to go. Willow very much resented her quasi-boyfriend taking her place and Amy was a threat because of her magic. It was fortuitous that the witch was watching Oz during the full moon, two birds with one stone. Willow had found a nifty spell that let her absorb Amy’s powers. It worked like a charm. That Amy had been surprised to see Willow was an understatement. With her powers gone it had been a simple matter to let Oz out and he killed Amy. Remember that werewolf hunter Cain? Yeah. Bye-bye Oz.

That was last month and now tonight’s the night. Willow and I agree it’s time to kill the Slayer. My boy is about to bag his third. She’s at the Bronze for a little R&R. She got over losing two of her gang with relative ease if she’s here to party. But then Buffy doesn’t really know what happened. She will though, right before she dies.

My girl looks ravishing in those forest green leather pants and that gold satin halter I picked out for her so many months ago. She’s got on the sexiest pair of brown leather lick me boots too. Her hair just brushes her shoulders and with the make-up she’s wearing she looks far older than eighteen.

The boys have just set our plan in motion and Buffy’s heading out to the alley to save the night. Willow and I fade into the shadows and watch as she efficiently dusts the three minions we’d chosen. As the dust settles from the last Willow starts clapping slowly and moves into the light.

“Well done. Well done.”

The Slayer does a double take as she tries to place my girl. Her jaw drops and she squeaks out, “Wi-Willow?”

Willow smirks at her and purrs, “Hello Buffy. Miss me?”

Buffy stares at her for a few more seconds then cautiously approaches her. “Are you a vampire?”

Willow laughs and I shiver at the throaty sound. She’s changed so much. I’m so proud.

“You never were very good at picking them out were you? If you were, you would have known Angel was a vampire the second you met him.”

Buffy’s brow furrows in confusion, no big surprise there, she really isn’t that bright. What the soul ever saw in her I really don’t know. “What happened to you?”

Willow smiles again. It's not a nice one either. “I’ve grown up. I kind of had to after Angelus kidnapped me a year ago. You do know that’s what happened to me, right? Or maybe you just don’t care. From what I’ve gathered all of you moved on and forgot about me after what, two weeks? Well, all of you except for Xander.”

I can see Buffy struggling to find some explanation. “I-I we tried to find you Wills, really. But after a while we just couldn’t continue looking. There were things we had to take care of.” She reaches out and catches Willow’s wrist. I can see the relief on her face as she feels her pulse. She smiles at my girl. “But you’re obviously okay now and you managed to get away. You can come home and everything can go back to normal.”

She can’t be that naive can she?

Willow looks at her incredulously. She’s still letting the Slayer hold her wrist and I wonder at that. She says, “You really can’t be that fucking naive or self-centered, can you?”

Buffy looks confused again. “What do you mean? And since when do you swear?”

Willow reverses her hand and grabs Buffy by the wrist and pulls her close. She licks Buffy’s cheek and says softly, “Who says I got away? I’m right where I’m supposed to be.” She moves back a pace. “Isn’t that right, baby?”

That’s my cue. I step out of the shadows and smile. “Hello lover.”

Willow knows I’m talking to her, but Buffy, in her infinite miscalculation that the world revolves around her, thinks I directed it towards her. “Don’t call me that. What have you done to Willow?”

Willow gives her a filthy smirk. “Nothing I haven’t wanted him too.” Her smile vanishes. “Bored now.” Raising her voice slightly she singsongs, “Spikey, Mama has a pressie for you.”

Buffy tries to shake Willow off, but she just tightens her grip. Have I mentioned we’ve been sharing blood? It makes my girl strong. I can see Buffy is completely baffled that she can’t get loose. Spike melts out of his hiding place from behind the Slayer. “Aw mum, you shouldn’t have.”

Panicking a bit now Buffy takes a swing at Willow with her free hand. She telegraphed the move and Willow dodged it easily. With a feral smile, Willow cooed, “Oooh, Buffy wants to play.” She connects with a right cross to Buffy’s cheek and the game is on. Spike and I move out of the way so Willow can work out her aggressions on her former best friend. While they fight, Willow makes up for the slight disadvantage she has of not being quite as strong as the Slayer with a running commentary of her time with me. Damn, I’m getting hard watching her. She’s pure poetry in motion. There’s a fluidity and grace to her movements that Buffy lacks and it’s more evident as they fight each other.

The distraction of her words is working and I can tell Buffy is running more on emotion than strategy. Willow makes a familiar hand signal to Spike and catches Buffy with a spinning back kick that sends her stumbling back into my boy. He catches her and wraps his arms around her in a parody of a lover’s embrace, with one arm around her waist and one around her shoulder, keeping her arms pinned at her sides.

He throws a sexy grin at Willow, which she returns. As he holds her, Willow leans in close and starts whispering to Buffy. By the look of dawning horror on the Slayer’s face Wills is telling her about Amy and Oz and the plans she has for Cordelia and Giles. Then she steps back and says, “Goodbye Buffy.”

Buffy tries to struggle, but to no avail. “Hello cutie,” Spike says just before he sinks his fangs into her throat. As my boy drops her lifeless body to the floor of the alley he says, “Thanks Red; just what I always wanted.”

Willow stares at the body of her former friend for a moment before resolutely turning and walking away. “Come on. Let’s go home. We’re done for the night. The others can wait a few days.”

My masterpiece ladies and gentleman. My Willow.

-30-


End file.
